Tips & Tidbits

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Evil Spirits and Bridesmaids' dresses

If you have ever wondered why bridesmaids all dress the same, it's because Roman law required then witnesses to make a wedding legal. Several of these witnesses dressed up exactly like the bride and groom, to confound any malevolent forces who might show up uninvited. Europeans followed similar traditions, and later bridesmaids and groomsmen sometimes did have to defend the happy couple against real-life thugs and warriors.

Ring around the...

If you've ever wondered why Americans put the wedding ring on the third finger of the hand, it's because of an ancient Greek belief that a vein in this finger ran directly to the heart. And if you've ever groaned at having to buy both an engagement ring and a wedding ring, you can blame Pope Innocent III, who instituted a waiting period between engagement and marriage in the 13th century and also insisted that a ring be used in the wedding ceremony. Before that, rings were used to seal an engagement only (as well as other important agreements).

You may exchange souls with the bride

Yes, this is what the big wedding kiss symbolizes--the swapping of souls between the bride and groom. Even earlier than this Christian belief, the Romans used a kiss to seal a contract. The kiss was considered legally binding. I don't know about you, but I'm glad that a handshake suffices today.

What's more, a bride marrying in the Church of England had to kiss the minister before she smooched the groom.

Where's the toast?

We call it a "toast" when we drink to someone because of an old French custom in which a piece of bread was put in the bottom of the wine cup--for flavor. Partygoers would drink and pass the cup; when it reached the person being toasted, he would drain it--crouton and all.

Partygoers would drink and pass the cup; when it reached the person being toasted, he would drain it--crouton and all. It sounds pretty unhygienic. But think of how much more excitement a crunchy beverage would bring to the traditional wedding toast. I'd drink to that.

Toss me a garter

Many things are thrown through the air at weddings; rice (for fertility), bouquets (for luck and protection), and garters (also for luck). The garter is my favorite. Apparently, in the good old days, before wedding dresses cost as much as small cars, people used to rip off chunks of the dress for good luck. In long-ago England, in a slightly related custom, friends of the groom would rip off their socks and throw them; the first to hit the groom's nose would be the next to be married.

Why left?

Traditionally, the bride stands on the left, the groom on the right. (Although the Jewish wedding tradition reverses this) Weddings used to be a lot more like the ones you watch on daytime TV, with dastardly ex-suitors and other thugs sometimes rushing the altar. And of course, some wedding crashers were heroes, just trying to rescue a captured bride. Whatever the reason for the interference, the groom needed to keep his right hand free so he could grab his sword, thus the bride stood clear and to the left. I have no idea what happened when the groom was left-handed.

Unity Candle

Probably the most familiar religious wedding traditions to Americans are the Roman Catholic and Protestant ones. The lighting of the unity candle--where two symbolic flames become one--is a particularly familiar images.